My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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