I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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