I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
