They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
