He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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