She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize