Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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