Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
