Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
