and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize