I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize