We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
