I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
