How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
