I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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