i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
