guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
