My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
