I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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