My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
