Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
