Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
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THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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