Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
