At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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