nut hugger
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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