her vagine was all disorganized.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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