Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
