yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
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I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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