i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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