Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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