i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i now understand why vodka
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
