Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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