Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
