I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
