Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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