Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
