my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
