Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
