Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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