I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
