Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
