his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
