Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish my penis had a tongue
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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