Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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