The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
