isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
