I wanna passion pit in your ass
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
