Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
