How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
4 words: hood of his car
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize