Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
