what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
