don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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