My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
