i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
