I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
