he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
