As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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