someone threw a dead crab at me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
