Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
