All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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