just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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