this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
