So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
