The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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