you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
