Banned from zoo.
Again?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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