I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
